An Open Letter To Myself
Dear Michele Renee from 2016,
I have a few words to part onto you. Nice try. This past year, you learned the importance of trying. You learned how to keep going, to push through your struggle even when you didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Nice going. This past year you kept going until you couldn’t anymore.
You were strong until your strength burned right out of you.
I am proud. I am more than proud that you finished your degree. The past six years with all the painful heartbreaks and mistakes did not diminish your spirit and your perseverance. As you walked across that hot stage in June, you smiled and sighed with relief. You were done.
But while you accomplished what you never thought you would, you fell apart shortly after. All the hard work from the last six years had broken you down and whittled away at your spirit. The completion of your journey left you empty and numb, you questioned what was next. Yet the answer was right before you, you didn’t know it until now. I am sorry.
I couldn’t be there for you to lean on; I had disappeared and wandered off in search of a better place than you.
Forgive me. You fell into a deep hole, one that you are only now beginning to come out of. You fell deeper into the hole, which filled you with despair. For that, please forgive me. I am here now. I will help to bring you out, to let you breathe fresh air, to live with a smile again.
You are strong. You are braver than you know. You are more gentle and sweet and caring than you are given credit for. Just remember.
Now is the time. It is time for you to hold my hand and to look to me. I will be your guide.
I will lead you to that place where you loved to be, the place full of ideas and unlimited creativity. The place where possibilities lay, waiting to be uncovered. You will accomplish great things. Never forget. I will always be by your side when you fall and cannot continue, I will grab you and push you up to keep going.
I will stay strong for when you are weak. I will give you everything you need to succeed. You are me. And I am you, but only together will we continue to survive and find a way to thrive and to live out our passions.